Walrus Talk

Posted 2/26/1992

The winter Olympics are over and I only got to see one awards ceremony. Women’s Figure Skating. We won the silver and the gold. I cry, of course, when turtles cross the road, so the sight of those two champions singing while our flags were rising was more than I could bear. And, of course, it got me thinking.

By American middle class standards, our family is middle middle. We’ve been blessed with steady incomes, and a nice home, but times haven’t always been good. When the kids came five yrs. ago, we had to learn to do without. We worried a lot about whether we could double our family size and survive financially. We did. But there have been no new cars. No expensive vacations. No swimming pools. Our kids, of course, would like to have a different color of Miata for each day of the week. And a monthly trek to Disney World. And an Olympic pool so they can train for Atlanta.

But we gave them puppies.

Puppies are really good at unconditional love. We try to give our kids that, too. But sometimes those little snots can really be irritating! Enter the puppies. Puppies are genetically incapable of tolerating anger. Mix one I wish I were dead teenage girl with one I want to lick the inside of your nose puppy and you get instant peace. It also works on I wish you were too parents.

Anyway, what this all boils down to is that when the kids came five yrs. ago Thursday, we were not able to give them much in the way of material goods. Of course, what we did give them was miles ahead of what they had, but I have always wished we could have done more. But I’ll just bet that they wouldn’t trade us in for that pool, or that trip, or that car.

Of course, we did end up giving them more. Normalcy. And consistency. And a healthy shot of unconditional love. (Even if some of it had to come from puppies.)

“Silver and gold,” Peter said, “have I none. But such as I have, I give to thee.” That’s really what its all about. No secret there. Bio parents live by that day by day. You don’t need a big house to give a kid a life. And you don’t need a big bank account to give a kid a father. What you need is a life to give, and a father to give it. (Please also read “mother.”)

This Thursday I would like to give our kids medals. Silver and gold. But I won’t because I’d have to choose. They surely deserve medals, though. The hurdles they’ve jumped and the weights they’ve lifted make Olympic athletes look like wimps. And I’d like to give them medals for having put up with us for five yrs. No mean trick. But I won’t. I think I’ll just hug them instead.

“Such as I have, . . . “