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Dancing With Aliens

Last Saturday I visited an alien planet.

Saturday was my mother-in-law’s 80th birthday and all of Barbara’s siblings came to town with all their sub-siblings in tow.

That is generally enough to make me wish I was on an alien planet, but that’s not the story.

The birthday celebration lunch was held at Ingrid’s Kitchen, a German restaurant and deli located in a not so nice neighborhood around 36th and Youngs Blvd.  We got there early to set up things and as I was getting out of the car I noticed that people were already piling in.  Not just any people.  Old people.  And some REALLY old people.  And those that didn’t drive themselves, were dropped off by their facilities van.

Inside the average age was at least 70.  And I emphasize ‘average”.  At our table there were some 20 somethings.  And that brought the average down.

And at one end of the restaurant, there was a band.  And the average of the band had to be 75.  And when the band started to play, all the old folks got up to dance.  And they danced and danced and danced and danced……..  I though I was in a filming of another sequel of Cocoon.

Funny thing, though.  It was really a lot of fun.  Pretty soon my mother-in-law was dancing.  And Barbara.  And her siblings.  And even the sub-siblings.

Fun though it was, for me, it was surreal.  Even when I could dance, I didn’t.  I danced at my wedding.  That was enough.  So dance halls of any repute are foreign to me.

But the dancers where having fun.  And the band was having fun.  And the singer was having fun (she was also over 70). And the non-dancing crowd was having fun.

So if you live in the city, or are coming to the city, go to Ingrid’s Kitchen at noon on Saturday.

And bring your dancing shoes.

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Hell in a Hand Basket

Call me old fashioned.  Call me a curmudgeon.  Call me William Safire’s secret son if you wish.  But I’m fed up with Hollywood.  No, this isn’t about Liberal bias.  In fact, Barbara Streisand might even support me on this.  Maybe even Alec Baldwin.  The subject of this rant is sloppy grammar!

I just can’t take it anymore.  It’s a worse plague than Creeping Socialism!  It’s not enough that Country Western singers, rappers and NASCAR drivers practice this black art……….now it’s the official language of TV.  “Me and my friend did this…….”  “Her and me did that…….”

Watch for it the next time you watch your favorite TV show.  (Reality shows don’t count here.)  It’s built into the scripts.  OK………..it’s no big deal if the street punk that just got arrested on Law and Order can’t put two words together to form a grammatically correct sentence.  That’s just the way it is with semi-literate street punks.  But the police Captains, and the Assistant District Attorneys, and the defense lawyers…………..they should know better.  But the writers are writing sloppy-grammar scripts.  Probably on purpose.  People that make their living from language are perpetuating the destruction of that which feeds them.  It’s insanity.

Recently, I’ve begun watching reruns of Matlock on our local family station (KSBI).  Witnesses get on the stand to testify………..”Can you identify that person?”……….”Yes, it was she.”  Writer’s used to respect the King’s English.  Even secondary characters spoke with correct grammar.  Nominative Case Abuse was simply not tolerated.

In past decades we’ve seen public pressure on Hollywood to produce TV shows that showed less drinking.  And that showed everybody (even the bad guys) using their seat belts.  Why?  Because it’s in the public interest to stay sober and to buckle up.  But it’s also in the public interest to exhibit high standards in other things.  Such as language.  Using sloppy language is a slippery slope that leads to hell in a hand basket.

No kidding…….break a rule here……..break a Commandment there……break a law…….soon there’s just no difference.  The standards of language are the front lines of social decline.  (I know I need to switch to decaf, but all this just really jerks my chain.)  With language, we have the opportunity every hour of every day to choose between high standards and low standards.  It’s a discipline that crosses over into other areas of life.

Where is Henry Higgins when you need him?

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